CLINICAL DEATH EXPERIENCE

In 1988 my mother had a heart attack and was clinically dead. Fortunately she was in hospital at the time and her life was extended by another 10 years by defibrillation, drugs and the medical expertise of the staff. It was a good quality of life and a time myself and my family greatly treasure and are grateful to those true healers who made it possible.

During those 10 years my mum and I spoke a lot about her experience, she also had interest from her general practitioner, the local vicar, nurses and consultants to describe her experience to them. I recount what she told me and share it, as it gave me comfort and peace of mind. Hopefully it will also offer some comfort to those who have lost a loved one and find it hard to accept and come to terms with. I know it is their feelings of desperation and vulnerability that seek out the psychics often discredited on Bad Psychics.

The chest pains mum experienced initially were bad and she could hear little except the pounding sound of her heart beating arrhythmically. She remembered being aware of her heart’s last beat, which she described as a ‘shudder’. Medics were looking at her and as she focused on their faces the image of them appeared to her to freeze, then slowly began to dissolve ‘like a water colour painting dispersing as water fell onto it’. As she watched the image of the people faded into an extremely bright comforting light, which caused no discomfort to her eyes.

The pain ‘melted’ and she described that her body felt light ‘like wafer or tissue’. I asked mum if she was afraid and if she thought of my sister, our dad or me. She answered truthfully that she did not think of us, that she had no fear whatsoever and that she ‘felt nothing but calm and total peace, and a longing to embrace the feeling’. Mum told me she had no thoughts of anyone, living or dead, no fear, no regrets, no anxiety, no pain – absolutely NOTHING negative in her mind or body. NONE of her deceased relatives came and held their hands out to her; NO-ONE dead beckoned her; NO celestial angel hovered to welcome her – NOTHING BUT A PEACEFUL, PAIN-FREE VOID.

The medical staff defibrillated mum’s heart from nothing into tachycardia (beating over 100 beats a minute). At this point she said she suddenly felt ‘so very angry’ at being drawn away from the peace. The lights in the hospital room were bright and hurt her eyes, the noises were ‘deafening’, including a loud ‘whooshing’ in her ears as her head began to hurt and aches and pain ‘surged through her body again’. A second defibrillation calmed my mum’s heart to a more normal rhythm and thus began the pain relief and medical help that allowed my mum to live a further 10 years.

I remember during one of our deep conversations regarding life and death, asking her that when her time did come, if she could, would she come to me and give me a sign that she was ok. She laughed and said ‘Of course I will be ok – I will be dead, there is nothing NOT to be ok about’. I asked her again and she gave me a categorical ‘No’. She told me she that she loved me and that I would always have her close to me, in my memories and in my heart. She told me ‘When my time comes, then it will be over for me, I will have had my life. I don’t want you to dwell on thoughts of death. Life is for the living.’

I am lucky! We left nothing unsaid, we still debated and argued and carried on as a normal family, but we said ‘I love you’ more often and we hugged a lot. None of us have any regrets.